How I Overcame My Fear of Flying
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If you’re scared of flying, I get it. I used to be terrified of flying. I’d tell people and they’d say, “Oh yeah, I’m a nervous flyer too!”
They just didn’t get it. We’re not talking nerves. We’re talking fear.
If that’s you too, I hope this post will be helpful. While I still have some minor nerves while flying—typically during takeoff and turbulence—I can do it without freaking out. I even enjoy it a bit! So I’m sharing my best tips for overcoming your fear of flying. (Of course none of this is mental health advice, simply things that worked for me that may help you as well.)
Step 1: Read SOAR
I discovered this book after a particularly rough flight. The flight itself was pretty smooth, but I panicked almost the entire time. I knew I had to get it under control if I ever wanted to fly again.
I did some research and found that this book had great reviews. I’m so glad I found it, because it helped so much.
Here’s me before that awful (that was actually really smooth) flight, and me after—I cried the entire way!
Step 2: Prepare BEFORE THE FLIGHT
Start your prep as long before your flight as you can. If you have a month or more before your flight, follow the timeline below. If you have less time, just fit in whatever you can.
1+ month Before
Take note of bumps during all of your commuting. Whether in the car or on the subway, there’s all kinds of vehicle movement that we’re used to, but when we notice it in the sky, it feels much scarier. Take note of it now, and next time you feel turbulence, remind yourself it’s just a normal part of transportation.
Study up on air travel. We hear over and over again that flying is the safest form of travel, but knowing that doesn’t always help us feel any better. However, learning what the different sounds and feelings during flight actually are helped me feel a lot better. The Soar book goes over them all, but there are loads of articles and YouTube videos that will have some great info as well!
1-2 weeks before
Create your packing list and start packing! Create a list so you don’t forget a thing, and then start packing the things you can. I always get clothes in my bags about a week out from the trip, and then check off last-minute things like toothbrushes and medications the day before.
By staying organized, not forgetting anything, and avoiding scrambling at the last minute, you’ll be able to get to the airport in a relaxed state, which will help you keep your anxiety in check for the whole trip.
Finalize your travel plans. Make sure you have all of your documents (don’t even ask about the time I LOST my ID the day before a flight—thank goodness I found it in time) and tickets ready to go. Make sure you have rides to the airport, confirm instructions with the pet-sitter, and double check that your hotels are booked. Whatever you need to do to finalize the trip details, make sure it’s all done.
the day before
Double (or triple) check that you have everything you need. It may seem like overkill, but the peace of mind helps a lot with anxiety later on.
Choose your in-flight entertainment. Get books on your Kindle, plan to grab some magazines at the airport, or download some podcasts.
The Day of
Wake up with plenty of time to spare. I keep saying it, but the more you can reduce stress leading up to the flight, the better you’ll feel! There’s nothing worse than barely making it through security on time and scrambling onto the plane already feeling anxious.
Step 3: create routines
They don’t have to be complicated. In fact, they should be simple so they’re easy to remember and complete.
My pre-flight routine is super simple: buy an iced latte on my way to the gate. I can do other things if I’d like, like browse the airport bookstore or stop at a restaurant, but I will be grabbing an iced latte no matter what.
It’s a simple thing, but I enjoy it and rely on it, making the airport something to look forward to.
Then my in-flight routine is getting a Diet Coke and paying for wi-fi so I can pretend to be a businessperson on a flight. It makes me feel like I’m in a movie! (Although, I’m usually getting some work done, so I guess I am a businessperson on a flight?!)
Step 4: Use Coping Strategies
It can be really hard to use coping strategies when you’re in full-blown flight anxiety, so it’s best to use these as soon as you start to feel anxious. Have these in your back pocket for if and when you need them:
During turbulence, look at your drink. It often feels like the plane is dropping quite a bit, but the liquid will hardly be moving in your cup.
Take deep breaths. I know, I know. Everyone says it. But it really does help to breathe slow and deep to remain calm.
Tell someone. If the person sitting next to you or a flight attendant is easy to talk to, tell them you’re nervous! I’ve had really kind people make flights easier just by chatting with me.
Don’t watch Lost a week before your flight. Ask me how I know. 🙃